I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
