I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
try to milk me bitch
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