we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
