We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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