i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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