Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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