why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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