My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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