i permit you to call me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
