You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
