guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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