you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
