The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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