Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The best revenge is premature balding
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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