I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
