Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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