insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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