Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
