You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Randomize
