So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
