I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
