you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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