ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
