a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
