I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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