Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
