Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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