That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
