after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
