D3 body, D1 cock
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
