i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He keeps bees of course he's weird
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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