I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i out mim tonsoeep
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