If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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