so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
