The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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