Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize