Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I checked into jail on foursquare
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
