Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
