This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Randomize
