you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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