he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
