tell your sister to shave her snatch
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
