Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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