I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
tell me about the fingering
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