It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
