I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize