It's Friday. Sex?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
