Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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