1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize