Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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