I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
