Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
