I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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