My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
