I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize