I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
