Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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