btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
