pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
