He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize