so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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