So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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