I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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